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Today is Monday. Monday is my Day to Get Stuff Done as it’s my mother in law’s day off when she usually takes the kids all day and I have an entire day to get as much work and other stuff as I can done without distractions.

This morning i got up just after 5am (super early for me) but didn’t get straight to work as I knew i had the whole day. Instead a had a long shower and just browsed around online until Kiran woke up at 6 (also super early for me but he always wakes up early when I do). Made is out doing a tour today and was leaving at 7 so he took Kiran straight over to the inlaws. Maya was still asleep so the plan was for my father in law to pick her up later.

Now Maya is going through a phase where she only wants to be with me and never wants to go to her grandparents house. We usually get around this by me hiding upstairs and working, Made tells her I’ve gone into ubud, she has a tiny winge and then goes off without complaint. This is much easier than the torment of trying to make her leave when she can still hear me… usually…

So after waking Maya up, getting her breakfast and bathed and playing for a bit it was 10am, i still hadn’t got any work done and no sign of father in law.  I decide as i’m not going to get anything done anyway, I’ll put maya in the sling (yes, 3.5 year-olds still fit in sakura bloom slings!), we can walk into ubud, she can play with the toys at Bali Buddha while i have a coffee and she might even eat something (she’s also going through a no eating phase). Maya brightened up at the idea of going out and got herself dressed (she’d been refusing to put any clothes on up until this point) and brushed her hair and teeth.

Just before we’re about to head out of the door, father in law turns up to take her over to their house. Of course she doesn’t want to go and even goes inside the house and shuts the door. I take this opportunity to hide around the corner, at which point Father in law tells her i’ve gone out and scoops her up. I can hear her wailing all the way down the road. Guilt guilt guilt.

Of course she doesn’t want to go when she wanted to go out with me and now she thinks I’ve gone without her. Sigh. I can’t even concentrate on work now, I feel so terrible, hence blogging instead. I want to go bring her back.

During this last month or 2 when the internet has been down so much and I haven’t been able to work, i’ve been spending a lot more time with the kids. Maya is at such a fun age now and i really like spending time with her. I can take her out in public without worrying about her trashing the place and she’s also happy to sit and play on her own for ages. I’ve really enjoyed this time of doing very little work, even though it means we’re kind of broke now. Ideally our plan would be for made to work more so I can do less but that’s easier said than done (i have a whole other post on this still in draft).

So for the last few weeks i’ve been prioritizing sleep and children instead of work and it does make a very nice change, even if it’s not terribly practical as a long-term solution. I read this post from jodi this morning and it makes perfect sense to me. We’re still working on it.

But for now, i’d better go and actually do some work so breaking my daughter’s heart wasn’t a total waste. sigh.